Okay, right from the outset, let me say that I didn’t nearly die. But after you read what happened, you’ll understand why I’d say that. My heart really could have given out, though. But first, some background; my phone sustained some serious damage a few weeks ago. Well, it’s been steadily sustaining damage for months, but the drop a few weeks ago was the “crack” that broke the proverbial camel’s back. It was the Mother of all screen cracks, I tell you! And all I could do was look in silent horror as the liquid crystal “ink” slowly painted my entire screed black. I learned something interesting as I watched this in slow-mo: phones generally have two glass screens; the top screen that you press on and the one underneath it keeping the black liquid crystals at bay. Anyway, now I can’t use my phone. I left it at a shop for repairs yesterday, and I arrived a bit too late to pick it up this afternoon and found the place closed, so I’ll only have it back tomorrow (I hope). That said, let me tell you what happened in the wee hours of Monday morning…
So, I’m innocently sitting at the round table in the study nook adjoining our living room, working (Netflix-ing), when a tiny, 30cm-odd snake casually slithers toward me. It appeared all black, but I couldn’t see its underbelly. I would later discover that it was actually dark-brown, with a very light-brown underbelly. Anyway, I immediately whimper like a little child and jump up onto the chair I was seated on. The moment I made a sound, that snake froze and just posted right there at the entrance to the nook. Look, I was genuinely scared, even though this was a tiny house snake. So now I’m standing on a chair, and I proceed to call out to my dad who is, by now, in lala land dreaming about whatever. I call my brothers names out, but they’re also upstairs sleeping, obviously, because it’s after midnight, and that’s what most people do at that time of the night. So I’m screaming and shouting, not at the top of my lungs, because somewhere in my mind, this situation is not that deep and someone will obviously hear and come to my rescue. But don’t misunderstand. I am scared. I mean, it’s a snake. But it’s just a small house snake, so why freak out, right? I’m too cool for that sort of thing. But 10 minutes lapse and no one has come to save me. So I start to get a little worried, and I proceed to bang my plastic water bottle on the ceiling, hoping to get my father’s attention, since the study nook is directly below his bedroom. I shout a little louder now, and call even my little sister’s name this time. I’m thinking I just need someone to know I’m here and I’m stuck. Another 10 minutes of this low-key/high-key noise, but still nothing. Then I look down at that long black worm thing on the floor and it suddenly dawns on me that I might actually be in real danger. I don’t know what sort of snake this is. I don’t know if it’s venomous or not. I don’t know if it spits or if it can leap. For all I know, it could be full-sized for its breed, and may actually be very dangerous. Fun Fact: There’s a snake sanctuary right behind the estate I live in. So yeah.
Anyway, these thoughts flood my mind, and I think I actually have a panic attack right there, standing on the chair, staring at this un-moving, over-sized worm-like creature (but obviously much cooler-looking than a worm, because worms are just gross!). And now I’m considering the very real possibility that I might have to stay up all night in a stare down with this snake in my then-current position on the chair. And the snake is so still and seemingly calm, as if it knows something I don’t, and it’s just waiting for the opportune moment to strike… And I actually begin to cry from fear. I literally choke when I try to shout for my dad again, and my mind is spinning. Then I realise my computer is still in front of me on the table. I grab that little thing (it’s so light) and I want to type furiously, but I can’t do that one-handed. So I start to type slowly to get someone’s, anyone’s attention, but before I can so that, the snake moves!!! It turns its head and starts to slither away from me. But this doesn’t bring me comfort! In fact, it freaks me out even more! If the snake leaves this area, I won’t know where it is, and I won’t be able to chill. So I scream louder (now I’m screaming with purpose, screaming like I mean it, screaming like it’s the coolest thing in the world to do), and this time, I’m hoping even the neighbours will hear me and come help a girl! But guys, sleeping people sleep! Like, you’ll die alone in this neighbourhood if you wait to be rescued because you were screaming for help. Trust me. I lived through it! Anyway, now the snake is out of my line of sight and I’m nearly dead in spirit, but I manage to write a post on my timeline asking anyone awake to hit me up. One friend texts me and I tell him the situation. I give him my father’s number, and he calls my father. A few minutes later, I hear a door open upstairs and I know I’m saved! So that’s how FB sorta kinda saved me in this scary situation.
Oh, you want to know how the whole thing ended? My dad and twin brother killed the snake. It actually was able to to leap, and freaked them out a bit. But they crushed its head. I feel a little bad that it had to die, but I don’t play with snakes.